You know how yesterday I mentioned that I just can't get enough of little Baby McG?
Well, here is one thing that I CAN get enough of:
Crying
Okay, okay. I know he's a brand new baby and babies cry. It's natural. It's what babies do. And I definitely haven't even heard the most of it yet.
But today, I have been annoyed to the max by it.
I mean, come on. Just stop already. I feed him a million times a day, I keep him dry and warm, I keep him clean, give him kisses and hugs and love on him, read to him, sing to him, et cetera...and yet he still cries. I don't mean to sound insensitive and, like I said, I know crying is what babies do until they learn other ways to communicate. But coupled with my lack of sleep and energy, the crying pretty much ticked me off today.
Does saying this make me a terrible mother?
Thinking it makes me feel like one.
I think I just need a nap.
Like a 10 hour nap.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Monday, September 26, 2011
just can't get enough
Have you ever heard of baby brain?
As in, when pregnant women start to have issues with their memory?
Yeah. So. I've already delivered the little dude and my baby brain is actually still in session. I still have some memory issues (like perpetually wondering where in the sweet Lord's name I left my car keys) and I also have issues with my attention span. I go from thought to thought like a hummingbird flits from one flower to the next.
To illustrate, I'll share some of the thoughts that I have had over the past 60 seconds:
Don't judge.
Anyway, I just can't get enough of my little milk zombie, so that means YOU can't get enough of him either. :-) Here are some more pictures of him in all his adorable chunkiness.
Enjoy!
I love how he looks like a little man here.
This is his "I-know-I'm-getting-chunky-but-give-me-more-milk-NOW" look.
He's found his thumb.
You talkin' to ME?
V hanging out with his daddy and sister Lucy
(She jumped on the back of the couch just to be near them!)
Just can't get enough of him...
As in, when pregnant women start to have issues with their memory?
Yeah. So. I've already delivered the little dude and my baby brain is actually still in session. I still have some memory issues (like perpetually wondering where in the sweet Lord's name I left my car keys) and I also have issues with my attention span. I go from thought to thought like a hummingbird flits from one flower to the next.
To illustrate, I'll share some of the thoughts that I have had over the past 60 seconds:
- I all of a sudden have an urge to watch BBC movie versions of Jane Austen novels. My favorite so far are the Pride and Prejudice version with Colin Firth that I saw when it first came out...and the Emma version from a couple years ago. Are there any other good ones out there?
- I think it's awesome that, for the first time since I've been home with the baby I have had an actual burst of energy. Yes. ENERGY! So much so, that I started cleaning off the tables, the floor, and have done some laundry...and I still want to get even MORE done! Is it possible that the "nesting" sensation can come weeks after delivery instead of right before?
- Speaking of staying at home, watching the baby, and cleaning...I have decided that it would be AMAZING if I never had to go back to work. I love my job...but I would love to be a stay at home mother. Would LOVE it! Let's win the lottery.
- I think it's hilarious that I have so many nicknames for Baby V when he hasn't really done anything to "get" a nickname yet. But here are a few (of the appropriate ones only): Dookie, Munchkin, Milk Breath, Zombie, Honey Bun, Chunky Butt, Sweet Cheeks, Handsome, and My Precious.
- You know how I had that burst of energy before? Yeah. It's gone now. But it was good while it lasted.
Don't judge.
Anyway, I just can't get enough of my little milk zombie, so that means YOU can't get enough of him either. :-) Here are some more pictures of him in all his adorable chunkiness.
Enjoy!
I love how he looks like a little man here.
This is his "I-know-I'm-getting-chunky-but-give-me-more-milk-NOW" look.
He's found his thumb.
You talkin' to ME?
V hanging out with his daddy and sister Lucy(She jumped on the back of the couch just to be near them!)
Just can't get enough of him...Sunday, September 25, 2011
thirty days of vincent
I am a mother.
So weird!
I know our baby is almost 7 weeks old already, but the fact that I am a mother is still kind of shocking.
Sometimes I am so completely exhausted that I seriously don't think that I will last 10 more minutes without passing out. But, on the other hand, sometimes I think of how (amazingly) I can still function day to day on 4 hours of a sleep a day. So at any given moment, at the flip of a switch, I could either fall into a deep sleep for probably 10 hours straight or I could get up and spend another 10 hours awake (maybe with a couple 30 minute naps thrown in there somewhere).
Sleep (or lack thereof) is definitely the most obvious things you think about during newborn-hood. For example, let's say you (yes YOU!) get an average of 8 hours of sleep a day. That's 56 hours of sleep each week and 240 hours of sleep in 30 days (which is 720 hours). That means, in one month (a 30 day month) you will have spent 33% of your time sleeping.
Next, let's pretend I'm a pretty average new mom who gets 4 hours of sleep a day. That's 28 hours of sleep a week, and 120 hours in 30 days. That means, in one month I will have spent only 16% of my time sleeping.
Now, I am not a "math" person, so don't make fun of the way I described those numbers...I just meant to illustrate how crazy sleep is for a new parent. Other than sleep, though, everything else is really awesome!
Every day we get to see tons of new things from Baby V - new facial expressions, new noises, new experiences, physical changes and development, new reactions, and (of COURSE!) thighs and cheeks that get chunkier by the day. One other thing that we have been noticing more lately is that V has been starting to smile a lot more as a reaction to us!
Now, I'm not talking about the smiling that babies do during their "light sleep" phase, right when they are falling asleep and making different facial expressions. I'm talking about real, 100% genuine smiles. They melt my heart! And I could just look at them all day long!
Here is a collage of the first 30 days of Baby Vincent. One picture from each of the first 30 days. I may have only gotten 120 hours of sleep during those 30 days, but looking back on these pictures of 30 different perfect moments, it's all SO worth it!
So weird!
I know our baby is almost 7 weeks old already, but the fact that I am a mother is still kind of shocking.
Sometimes I am so completely exhausted that I seriously don't think that I will last 10 more minutes without passing out. But, on the other hand, sometimes I think of how (amazingly) I can still function day to day on 4 hours of a sleep a day. So at any given moment, at the flip of a switch, I could either fall into a deep sleep for probably 10 hours straight or I could get up and spend another 10 hours awake (maybe with a couple 30 minute naps thrown in there somewhere).
Sleep (or lack thereof) is definitely the most obvious things you think about during newborn-hood. For example, let's say you (yes YOU!) get an average of 8 hours of sleep a day. That's 56 hours of sleep each week and 240 hours of sleep in 30 days (which is 720 hours). That means, in one month (a 30 day month) you will have spent 33% of your time sleeping.
Next, let's pretend I'm a pretty average new mom who gets 4 hours of sleep a day. That's 28 hours of sleep a week, and 120 hours in 30 days. That means, in one month I will have spent only 16% of my time sleeping.
Now, I am not a "math" person, so don't make fun of the way I described those numbers...I just meant to illustrate how crazy sleep is for a new parent. Other than sleep, though, everything else is really awesome!
Every day we get to see tons of new things from Baby V - new facial expressions, new noises, new experiences, physical changes and development, new reactions, and (of COURSE!) thighs and cheeks that get chunkier by the day. One other thing that we have been noticing more lately is that V has been starting to smile a lot more as a reaction to us!
Now, I'm not talking about the smiling that babies do during their "light sleep" phase, right when they are falling asleep and making different facial expressions. I'm talking about real, 100% genuine smiles. They melt my heart! And I could just look at them all day long!
Here is a collage of the first 30 days of Baby Vincent. One picture from each of the first 30 days. I may have only gotten 120 hours of sleep during those 30 days, but looking back on these pictures of 30 different perfect moments, it's all SO worth it!
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
life with baby mcg
Week:
40. We had Vincent 3 weeks ago, but his official due date was this past Sunday...so TECHNICALLY he would only be about 3 days old now if he was born on his due date. But we had to squeeze him out a little earlier than expected. But it's been going really well.
Size of Baby:
Vincent was born at 6 pounds 14 ounces, but was 6 pounds 7 ounces after leaving the hospital. Then...because we had to go back to the hospital for a few days (see here), he ended up losing more weight...so he was well underweight from what he should be. Our pediatrician has had us come back for a couple weight checks over the past week to keep tabs on his weight. And, finally, as of this past Monday, V is up to 6 pounds 15 ounces. And by now he SHOULD be above 7 pounds. Finally! We want nothing more than for him to be a healthy baby.
Size of Mom:
I am finally shrinking! I am not going to tell you how much weight I gained during pregnancy because it will make you want to vomit. Seriously. But I have already lost about half of what I gained and it's only been 3 weeks! It's definitely slowed down a little and I know it will probably take a long time before I'm back to what I was before getting pregnant...but I'm happy with the progress so far. My knees are quite happy about me being a little lighter, too!
Fetal Movement:
I actually call our son "McSquirmy"...so that should tell you a little bit about how much he moves now that he can kick and stretch his legs. Now that he's not cramped up in my uterus anymore. His legs are getting so strong and he is also lifting his head a lot more now...and he's only 3 weeks old. I think he's going to be really strong like his dad in no time!
Sleep:
I sleep probably about 5 hours a day (6 if I'm lucky)...and it's always split up at random times. One hour here, 30 minutes there, et cetera. But...the other night an amazing thing happened. V slept for 4 hours straight! It was amazing! The pediatrician previously told us that if he sleeps for 4 or 5 hours at night, that's okay and to not always worry about feeding him exactly every 2 hours. So I decided to set my alarm the other night for 5 hours from the time I started feeding him...and he woke up 4 hours later. I was very happy with that. He hasn't done that again yet, but I'm sure that as soon as he keeps gaining more weight, the longer he will sleep. And that will make me happy. I never knew how important sleep was until now. The less you get, the weaker and more cranky you become. So I can't wait until I can get a full 5 or 6 hours in a row. Can't WAIT!
I Now:
Can hold our little baby and shower him with hugs and kisses. Feel more normal again. Am on my way being a normal, healthy weight again. Can see my feet again and can see my ankles again (SO EXCITING!!). Can get up on my own without help. Can shave my legs comfortably again.
I Am Looking Forward To:
Sleeping through the night. Seeing my boobs look their normal size (bras are flippin' EXPENSIVE and breast feeding makes my boobs crazy shapes throughout the day). Being a normal, healthy weight again. Getting a good schedule and figuring out what in the heck I am doing.
Extra Thoughts:
I was very overwhelmed during the first week and a half after giving birth. Call it the Baby Blues, call ts exhaustion, call it whatever you want. I was definitely overwhelmed.
First of all, I was not prepared to have a baby that week, but the blood pressure issues made delivering Vincent a necessity. So I knew I had to have the baby right away.
Second, the delivery was kind of difficult for me. Since V wasn't quite ready to see the world yet, my cervix was still locked shut...so the first 2 days in the hospital were spent trying to open my cervix. It literally took 2 days. The 3rd day in the hospital was when Vincent was delivered. I had to have an epidural because every contraction was making my blood pressure even higher. I think it's very amazing that women deliver naturally, with nothing at all...but I was very happy to have that epidural. So the contractions ended up not being TOO bad. But that last stage of delivery...the wonderful pushing stage...made me feel like passing out. Such hard work! Words can not describe it. I could barely feel my body afterwards.
Third, getting sleep in hospitals is like finding water in a desert. So I had to come home with a brand new baby on literally no sleep. And then we had to go back to the hospital for V after not even being home for a week, so it was just a very stressful time.
I'm not trying to complain...so I'm sorry if it sounds that way...but it was just very overwhelming at first. That first week and a half was rough. And I know that there will still definitely be ups and downs as we are getting used to parenthood. But now, however...
40. We had Vincent 3 weeks ago, but his official due date was this past Sunday...so TECHNICALLY he would only be about 3 days old now if he was born on his due date. But we had to squeeze him out a little earlier than expected. But it's been going really well.
Size of Baby:
Vincent was born at 6 pounds 14 ounces, but was 6 pounds 7 ounces after leaving the hospital. Then...because we had to go back to the hospital for a few days (see here), he ended up losing more weight...so he was well underweight from what he should be. Our pediatrician has had us come back for a couple weight checks over the past week to keep tabs on his weight. And, finally, as of this past Monday, V is up to 6 pounds 15 ounces. And by now he SHOULD be above 7 pounds. Finally! We want nothing more than for him to be a healthy baby.
Size of Mom:
I am finally shrinking! I am not going to tell you how much weight I gained during pregnancy because it will make you want to vomit. Seriously. But I have already lost about half of what I gained and it's only been 3 weeks! It's definitely slowed down a little and I know it will probably take a long time before I'm back to what I was before getting pregnant...but I'm happy with the progress so far. My knees are quite happy about me being a little lighter, too!
Fetal Movement:
I actually call our son "McSquirmy"...so that should tell you a little bit about how much he moves now that he can kick and stretch his legs. Now that he's not cramped up in my uterus anymore. His legs are getting so strong and he is also lifting his head a lot more now...and he's only 3 weeks old. I think he's going to be really strong like his dad in no time!
Sleep:
I sleep probably about 5 hours a day (6 if I'm lucky)...and it's always split up at random times. One hour here, 30 minutes there, et cetera. But...the other night an amazing thing happened. V slept for 4 hours straight! It was amazing! The pediatrician previously told us that if he sleeps for 4 or 5 hours at night, that's okay and to not always worry about feeding him exactly every 2 hours. So I decided to set my alarm the other night for 5 hours from the time I started feeding him...and he woke up 4 hours later. I was very happy with that. He hasn't done that again yet, but I'm sure that as soon as he keeps gaining more weight, the longer he will sleep. And that will make me happy. I never knew how important sleep was until now. The less you get, the weaker and more cranky you become. So I can't wait until I can get a full 5 or 6 hours in a row. Can't WAIT!
I Now:
Can hold our little baby and shower him with hugs and kisses. Feel more normal again. Am on my way being a normal, healthy weight again. Can see my feet again and can see my ankles again (SO EXCITING!!). Can get up on my own without help. Can shave my legs comfortably again.
I Am Looking Forward To:
Sleeping through the night. Seeing my boobs look their normal size (bras are flippin' EXPENSIVE and breast feeding makes my boobs crazy shapes throughout the day). Being a normal, healthy weight again. Getting a good schedule and figuring out what in the heck I am doing.
Extra Thoughts:
I was very overwhelmed during the first week and a half after giving birth. Call it the Baby Blues, call ts exhaustion, call it whatever you want. I was definitely overwhelmed.
First of all, I was not prepared to have a baby that week, but the blood pressure issues made delivering Vincent a necessity. So I knew I had to have the baby right away.
Second, the delivery was kind of difficult for me. Since V wasn't quite ready to see the world yet, my cervix was still locked shut...so the first 2 days in the hospital were spent trying to open my cervix. It literally took 2 days. The 3rd day in the hospital was when Vincent was delivered. I had to have an epidural because every contraction was making my blood pressure even higher. I think it's very amazing that women deliver naturally, with nothing at all...but I was very happy to have that epidural. So the contractions ended up not being TOO bad. But that last stage of delivery...the wonderful pushing stage...made me feel like passing out. Such hard work! Words can not describe it. I could barely feel my body afterwards.
Third, getting sleep in hospitals is like finding water in a desert. So I had to come home with a brand new baby on literally no sleep. And then we had to go back to the hospital for V after not even being home for a week, so it was just a very stressful time.
I'm not trying to complain...so I'm sorry if it sounds that way...but it was just very overwhelming at first. That first week and a half was rough. And I know that there will still definitely be ups and downs as we are getting used to parenthood. But now, however...
- I am (sadly!) getting used to living off of limited sleep.
- I am loving every second spent with our baby.
- He is beautiful.
- He is sweet.
- He makes the cutest noises.
- He is strong.
- He reminds me of Joe already.
- He has the smoothest skin.
- He makes a million different facial expressions every day.
- His eyes are adorable.
- He is getting a little better at focusing on certain things like faces and has even started to follow my face when I move my head from side to side.
- His smile makes me so happy.
- Seeing Joe cuddle with him is the sweetest thing in the world.
- This is weird, but I love that I have already been able to recognize his poo face (you know...the expression he has when he poops?).
- Speaking of...even when he poops he's the cutest little thing in the world.
- I love his face.
- I love how content and peaceful he is after he eats.
- I love his little nose.
- I love the way he smells.
- I love how innocent and precious he is.
- I love how his blonde hair sometimes looks brownish and sometimes looks reddish.
- I love every inch of him!
Saturday, August 13, 2011
2 hospitals in 2 weeks
At my 37 week check up, the doctor noticed that I had high blood pressure. Normally, my blood pressure was always really good, so it was kind of weird. But she said that a lot of times pregnant women experience slightly elevated blood pressure toward the end of pregnancy...so she said we would just monitor it at the following weekly visits.
Now, because of Joe's kidney and blood pressure issues in the past, we actually have a blood pressure monitor at home, so on a Saturday night, I decided to check my blood pressure to see how it was doing. It was wicked high, so I decided to rest and go to bed. Checked it again in the morning after a night's sleep. Still wicked high. Called the on call doctor since it was a Sunday, and here is a quick rundown of the next 5 days:
Until this past Wednesday night.
Vincent. at some point on Wednesday, got so completed agitated that he cried almost nonstop (not kidding) from about 12:30 am to about 5:30 am. There were brief periods of calm, but it never lasted very long. And nothing was working. I know he was only 9 days old, but it was so completely polar opposite to what he had normally been like, so we called the pediatrician's office. The on call nurse suggested to go to the ER as he would really need to be evaluated to see what was going on.
I have been here with Vincent at Phoenix Children's Hospital ever since.
When we brought him in, they did a million tests to look for infections, abnormalities, etc. They tested for meningitis...which was negative. So that was a relief. They saw a slight bronchiolitic situation in an xray of his lungs, so decided they might put him on antibiotics for that (and to make sure any other infection is stopped). They also noticed that he was getting low oxygen...which could possibly be a result of pauses in breathing. He was admitted to the ICU.
His tests keep coming back normal...but they are still wanting to keep him on antibiotics a little longer and want to keep monitoring him for apnea. He didn't have any apnic episodes at all last night or the night before. So that's good! But they are sending us home with a monitor that will alarm whenever there is a cessation of breathing or a cessation of heartbeat.
How freakin' scary is that?!?!
I am seriously sick of hospitals. I am seriously sick of our son being hooked up to machines and IVs. I am seriously stressed about having to hook him up even MORE when we get home to monitor for apnea. I am just sick of it. I just want to be home and cuddling with Joe, my Lucy, and my little man. I just want to be a new mother in the peace and quiet of my own home. I am so sorry if this sounds like complaining, but I think that this is just not fair.
He's an angel. An adorable, smiling, blonde-haired, angelic little 11 day old boy. And 11 day old little angels do not deserve this.
Now, because of Joe's kidney and blood pressure issues in the past, we actually have a blood pressure monitor at home, so on a Saturday night, I decided to check my blood pressure to see how it was doing. It was wicked high, so I decided to rest and go to bed. Checked it again in the morning after a night's sleep. Still wicked high. Called the on call doctor since it was a Sunday, and here is a quick rundown of the next 5 days:
- Sunday: On call doc said to go to the hospital right away. Hospital admitted me for high blood pressure. Said I probably wouldn't be leaving because doc wanted to induce labor. Put me on a medication to ripen my cervix (since baby wasn't ready to come yet).
- Monday: By next morning, wasn't working. Rock hard cervix. Started a cook's balloon cervical ripening thingie (look it up!) to help with dilation. Started a little Pitocin. 12 hours later, still no dilation.
- Tuesday: 24 hours later, cervix was only opened to 3cm. Doc called my cervix Fort Knox (not kidding). Took it out. Kicked up the Pitocin. Broke my water. Contractions started coming. Contractions caused more spikes in my blood pressure. Started an epidural to take away the pain...which would eliminate the high blood pressure from the contractions. It worked. Had Baby McG that night!
- Wednesday: Still in hospital for high blood pressure. Put on meds. Boring. Wanted to go home.
- Thursday: Still in hospital for high blood pressure. Slight decrease in high blood pressure. Released with prescription for blood pressure. So glad to go home. Really missed my beagle.
Until this past Wednesday night.
Vincent. at some point on Wednesday, got so completed agitated that he cried almost nonstop (not kidding) from about 12:30 am to about 5:30 am. There were brief periods of calm, but it never lasted very long. And nothing was working. I know he was only 9 days old, but it was so completely polar opposite to what he had normally been like, so we called the pediatrician's office. The on call nurse suggested to go to the ER as he would really need to be evaluated to see what was going on.
I have been here with Vincent at Phoenix Children's Hospital ever since.
When we brought him in, they did a million tests to look for infections, abnormalities, etc. They tested for meningitis...which was negative. So that was a relief. They saw a slight bronchiolitic situation in an xray of his lungs, so decided they might put him on antibiotics for that (and to make sure any other infection is stopped). They also noticed that he was getting low oxygen...which could possibly be a result of pauses in breathing. He was admitted to the ICU.
His tests keep coming back normal...but they are still wanting to keep him on antibiotics a little longer and want to keep monitoring him for apnea. He didn't have any apnic episodes at all last night or the night before. So that's good! But they are sending us home with a monitor that will alarm whenever there is a cessation of breathing or a cessation of heartbeat.
How freakin' scary is that?!?!
I am seriously sick of hospitals. I am seriously sick of our son being hooked up to machines and IVs. I am seriously stressed about having to hook him up even MORE when we get home to monitor for apnea. I am just sick of it. I just want to be home and cuddling with Joe, my Lucy, and my little man. I just want to be a new mother in the peace and quiet of my own home. I am so sorry if this sounds like complaining, but I think that this is just not fair.
He's an angel. An adorable, smiling, blonde-haired, angelic little 11 day old boy. And 11 day old little angels do not deserve this.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
new kid on the blog
Say hello to the New Kid on the BLOG...Vincent!
Just wanted to introduce you all to the little man...stay tuned for more updates and photos coming soon!!
Just wanted to introduce you all to the little man...stay tuned for more updates and photos coming soon!!
Friday, July 29, 2011
sweet and freaky dreams
I was at my parent's house, just sitting around and relaxing, enjoying the peace and quiet. Out of nowhere, I jumped up and realized that I had no idea where my baby was.
So I decided to head over to my aunt and uncle's house in Phoenix and knocked on the door when I arrived there. A young girl answered my call, a girl who I had never seen before. And she looked confused when I asked her where my baby was. Out in the hallway, another little girl came out carrying Lucy. So I asked her where my baby was. They both stared at me with blank faces and I got so frustrated that I could scream.
So I went back to my parent's house and decided to wait for my sister to come home. In the meantime, I searched the house high and low thinking that possibly I was just a terrible mother and left my baby in the bedrooms or something. But I was relieved when I heard my sister walk into the house. She was carrying our car seat and I immediately felt relieved.
But as I looked into the car seat, all I saw was our dog, Lucy, again.
Crazy dream, huh?
It's not as crazy as the dream I had where our baby ripped itself out of my stomach and was already dressed in clothes. And on one hand, this dream freaked me out because I literally couldn't find our child anywhere. But on the other hand, it made me realize that we actually already have a baby.
A little beagle baby.
Yes, I know she's a dog. She's an animal. A creature bred for hunting small game. A being that is pretty much content just eating, sleeping, peeing, and pooping.
But she's still our special little girl.
So I decided to head over to my aunt and uncle's house in Phoenix and knocked on the door when I arrived there. A young girl answered my call, a girl who I had never seen before. And she looked confused when I asked her where my baby was. Out in the hallway, another little girl came out carrying Lucy. So I asked her where my baby was. They both stared at me with blank faces and I got so frustrated that I could scream.
So I went back to my parent's house and decided to wait for my sister to come home. In the meantime, I searched the house high and low thinking that possibly I was just a terrible mother and left my baby in the bedrooms or something. But I was relieved when I heard my sister walk into the house. She was carrying our car seat and I immediately felt relieved.
But as I looked into the car seat, all I saw was our dog, Lucy, again.
Crazy dream, huh?
It's not as crazy as the dream I had where our baby ripped itself out of my stomach and was already dressed in clothes. And on one hand, this dream freaked me out because I literally couldn't find our child anywhere. But on the other hand, it made me realize that we actually already have a baby.
A little beagle baby.
Yes, I know she's a dog. She's an animal. A creature bred for hunting small game. A being that is pretty much content just eating, sleeping, peeing, and pooping.
But she's still our special little girl.
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