let's talk pickles

Joe: I'm gonna have a pickle. Do you want one?

Me: Not really.

[I watch Joe start eating a pickle and start to salivate. I guess I really do want a pickle. But should I admit it?]

Me: Ummm...okay, sure.

[I eat the pickle and immediately regret it.]

Me: Blech! This pickle is nasty!

Joe: Well, it's a zesty pickle. Why did you buy zesty dill pickles?

Me: Well, you're the one who asked for dill pickles. And when I got to the pickle aisle, there were literally a BOJILLION pickle choices. A bojillion brands. A bojillion flavors. And I knew you only like DILL pickles, so finally after WAY too many minutes spent in the pickle aisle, I picked the first jar I saw that said "DILL" on it. So I guess THAT'S why you got zesty dill pickles!

---

So yeah.

I'm not a communist. I'm not necessarily anti-capitalism either. But COME ON, PEOPLE!! Grocery stores are way too big to begin with and it would make shopping so much more fun and so much easier if there weren't a bojillion choices for everything.

I mean, seriously.

Let's talk pickles.

First, there is the type of pickle. You've got dill pickles, kosher dill pickles, bread and butter pickles, sweet pickles, sour pickles, half sour pickles, candied pickles, gherkins, and (apparently) there are also zesty dill pickles.

There are more types of pickles than what's in that short list, but now let's talk about cuts. There are whole pickles, half pickles, pickle spears, sandwich stackers, pickle slices.

Now, really, it's okay that there are different types of pickles and different cuts of pickles. But, now, to ADD to your pickle choices, there is also the pickle brand to consider. Some of the main brands throughout the United States are Vlasic, Claussen, Heinz, and Cain's. And that's not even 10% of the brands in the USA. Each state has their own list of pickle brands and there are also smaller pickle companies trying to cash in on the pickle market.

Is there really the need for this, though?

I mean, a pickle's a pickle. Maybe there are taste and quality variations from brand to brand, but do there really need to be hundreds of pickle types/cut/brands to choose from?

Really?

Think about it.